Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
