im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
