So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
