it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
