Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
