Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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