I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
