Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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