I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
