I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
