is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
