so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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