Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
