I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize