U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
