You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
