All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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