Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
