Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
