so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
