I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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