a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Randomize