Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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