So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
