**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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