Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
