I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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