There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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