Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
