its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
