I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize