rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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