he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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