FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
