I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
