Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Boobs speak an international language.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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