hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
