so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
