Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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