Hey man sorry I got all grabby
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
