Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
