Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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