Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
