I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
