So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
