Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
