I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize