R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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