Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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