I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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