Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
