I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
