Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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