Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
