i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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