kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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