but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
