I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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