READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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