thus making me awesome and them whores
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
