it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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